I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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