I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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