I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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