Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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