He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
