omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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