My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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