i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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