i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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