I wish I could punch you in the face.
Porn is love you can see.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
