Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
