would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
