Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
