No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
