Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
