We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
