Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
