look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
