I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
