Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
