PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
