Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
