I want to have your abortion
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
