i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
