I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
