I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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