we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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