She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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