Your mouth is God's brothel.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
