Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
