I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize