Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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