he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
