sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
