Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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