I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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