I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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