(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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