whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
