stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I intend to get homeless drunk
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
