Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
