He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
