You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
