Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
