So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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