Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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