I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
