PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
