yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
