You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
