You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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