I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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